What do you think about Malcolm Mclaren's comments that you're just dray horses out for your last ride before being put out to pasture?

John Lydon: I'm glad he's still doing our press for us.

Are you on any prescribed medication we should know about?

The only thing I'm on is ego, and I've got more than enough of that to go round.

This is sad isn't it?

Pardon, can I have that in English? It's sad that an arsehole like you doesn't appreciate the effort we've gone to.

How much money are you getting?

More than The Beatles and fucking right and all. Cos this is the only thing that's ever come out of Britain that's actually worth the money.

Isn't is complete about-face from everything you've ever stood for?

Listen we invented Punk, we write the rules, you follow. Not the other way 'round.

Where's your first gig?

Paul Cook: Finland

Why Finland?

You've got to rehearse somewhere.

Do you still hate each other?

Yes, with a vengeance, but we share a common cause, and that's your money.

How much are you getting?

Paul Cook: Don't be nosey. I'll tell you at the end of the year.

What do you think about Green Day?

Childish prattle. It's the same old shit really, nothings changed. The Sex Pistols never finished properly, so this is what it's about, to put a full stop on it.

Why has it taken you so long?

Well I ran away from it for a long time. I couldn't cope with it because it went tragically wrong due to management and various other arsehole members. Money isn't to be all and end all. I'm also incredibly spiteful so when someone thinks something is so sacrosanct that it should never be touched, I wanna touch it

Asked about a Pistols reunion in the past you've said, "What are we gonna do, dig up Sid"? Do you think that might make a better spectacle?

I thought about that, but Sid's ashes were blown all over the airport. We'd need a fucking hoover!

Are you writing new material?

Glen Matlock: No, we haven't even rehearsed yet. This is only the third time we've seen each other. We've spent five minutes together and it's going great.

Are you gonna get rid of the monarchy for us this time?

No. Our very good fifth member, Lady Di, is doing an excellent job. In fact we've offered to do a benefit Madam Di 'cos she really does need the cash, just like us.

What would Sid think of all this?

He'd love it, if he could think at all.Sid was nothing more than a coat hanger to fill in an empty space onstage. These are the people that wrote the songs and now we'd like to be paid for it. Every fucker has lived off us and we've never seen penny one or respect. If you wanna complain about people grabbing money, then look at all those trashy pop stars you've got out there left, right and centre. I don't see you bitching about any of those bumholes. Is it cos we're working class that means we have no access to cash, period?

You live in Malibu.

Should we just stay in our council estates?

Are you old farts like the Stones?

There ain't nothing wrong with getting old. Like a fine wine, I've matured with age.

Glen, what have you been doing for the last years apart from writing your book?

Nothing

Glen Matlock: I've done a lot, thanks John. I've got an album coming out this month on Creation. It's called "Who's He Think He Is When He's At Home".

How far can you spit these days?

Do you wanna test it?

Do you like Oasis?

They're just a pop band, you know.

Glen Matlock: Don't wanna say anything about them, they're really hard and they might hit us.

Who's gonna support you on tour?

Some bunch of fucking geriatrics. Who Cares? Let's face it, nobody is gonna go for any of the support bands. Apparently The Buzzcocks are gonna be at Finsbury Park but if you really want a good laugh come late.

The first time you went to Finland, they wouldn't let you in, now they will. What does that say about you as a band?

It says nothing at all. Nobody cares about Finland.

Do you except anyone to start gobbing at you again?

No, and quite frankly, I never appreciated that in the first place. I am not no fucker's spittoon.

How old are you all now?

I'm 21 and I've been that way for 19 years. I'm 40. I'm not the slightest bit ashamed about it. We're not pretending to be kids. We also don't give a shit what we look like. We love our beer bellies and you gonna love them too.

What do we call you Johnny, Rotten or...

You'll call me sir.

What do you think of artists like Tricky doing something new?

What Tricky's doing isn't new. That's all samples of other peoples stuff. That's not new. There's not one original thought on there. By the way, I like Tricky.

Do you think The Clash will follow suit and reform?

We don't know anything about The Clash.

Glen Matlock: I'll think they'll do it next year. Cos they always did stuff after us anyway

You said you hated stadium rock bands but you are one now.

No we're not. What stadium would that be? You name the stadium and I'll call you a liar. Finsbury Park is not a stadium, it's field.

Would you like to appear in Hello magazine with Nora?

We could make it a threesome with Lady Di.

Glen Matlock: And Fergie.

Not Fergie. That tart in a tent can stay where she is.That's the bum suck end of it. That's the Clash of the royal family.

How many times have you been approached to do this?

About 10 solid years of it. But all those have never been solid offers. This is happening because we actually sat down and bothered to think about it and started to call in some of these arseholes offering all this money and have no qualms whatsoever about taking them up on all their big ft mouths.

If the concerts go well are you going to make this a permanent?

They won't go well and no, it won't be permanent. I mean, you know what this lot's like. We always disappoint on the night. And surely that's the fun of it all. I hope it rains at Finsbury Park and you all get your wheelchairs stuck in the mud.

Does Sid's mother have any rights to the Sex Pistol's stuff?

We look after her and her pussy. She has a cat.

Do you except an "MTV Unplugged"?

Does this look like the Salvation Army?

Will you play "Top Of The Pops"?

No, no, it could never work. That show's so bad You've really depressed me, just the fucking thought of it.

Glen Matlock: The cunts wouldn't have us on 20 years ago, why should we go on now? Unless they pay. Now you must admit that's a novel idea.

What are you gonna spend the money on?

Steve Jones: Prostitutes. Well I am anyway.

He's not joking either.

Are you gonna play "EMI" now that your record company Virgin is owned by EMI?

Can you please not mumble that again

Do you think you've grown up?

No, I've grown wide.

Picture Credits: (Top to Bottom)
100 Club Press Conference Invite, March 1996
'Filthy Lucre' Press Conference, 100 Club March 16th, 1996 © unknown